I Give Up People-Pleasing

Day 28 of Lenten Devotional Series

Proverbs 29:25 If you fear other people, you are walking into a dangerous trap; but if you trust in the Eternal, you will be safe.

People-pleasing can be such a natural habit, we often don't even realize we're doing it or don't consider it a negative. Twisted priorities can convince us that focusing on what others think is not only normal, but important.

Some people attempt to control other's opinions by owning the nicest homes, buying the most expensive clothes, hanging with the "right" people, saying the proper words, or presenting the facade of a perfect life. For me, I can fall into the trap of people-pleasing when I step outside my comfort zone. If I attempt a goal I'm not sure people will approve of, I often hesitate and ask myself those emotionally dangerous words:

"But what will people think?"

That question used to stop me immediately and put a halt to all of my actions. But now I respond to that query with another more important one:

"Why does it matter?"

My mind continues its argument with: "They might think I'm unqualified or unworthy. They might criticize my efforts. They might talk badly about me behind my back."

Yet again, another question:

"And if they do those things--why does it matter?"

Then I finally come down to the answer that silences every other question from my mind:

"It doesn't matter."

I love a quote I've seen floating around by Lysa Terkeurst (paraphrased): Our job is obedience. God's job is everything else.

I think most people could answer honestly that we prefer praise over fault-finding and approval rather than disapproval. But if we sense God's spirit prodding us to take a certain step or attempt a particular challenge---from the perspective of eternity--how much does it matter if mortal humans don't validate our efforts?

Quite simply, it doesn't. Trying to control what people think of us or say about us when we're not around just doesn't fall under our job description. And that truth is incredibly freeing.

Jesus, when you walked this earth, you didn't worry about what other people thought of you. You didn't try to manipulate their opinions or gain approval before you did what you were called to do. Help us, like you, be so focused on obeying our Father, that our unhealthy habits of people-pleasing disintegrate and we find our joy in pleasing you. Amen.