I Give Up Impatience

13th Day of Lenten Devotional Series

Guest Post by: Michael Andrew Stewart, Hillvue Heights Church

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

"Don't pray for patience," a statement I have heard all my life. If one reads the book of Job, we are supposed to be encouraged...right? I had a difficult time with the book of Job because of the hardships he had to endure. Honestly, I didn't feel encouragement but dread. Is this what I have to look forward to as a believer? Enduring hardship after hardship? I know the word teaches us to die to ourselves daily, I get that, but am I to expect a Job type of experience throughout my life? In April of 2013, my understanding of patience would forever be changed. This blog entry is to be about impatience. By definition the word impatience is the lack of patience.For many years, my wife and I had tried to have a baby, but to no avail. We saw doctors, researched, and saw more doctors. We became frustrated and grew impatient with the whole process! The one thing that we knew to do during this trying time was pray. As we prayed at home, at the altar at church and other church services, God began to speak and pointed us to adoption. We researched private adoption and also foster care adoption. In April 2013, we began our Foster-to-Adopt classes through the state--was 10 weeks of 3 hour classes! As we were finishing up our classes and finalizing needed paperwork required by the state to foster, we received a phone call and welcomed two little boys into our home. And so it began. Each time children came to live with us, as hard as we tried, we would ask ourselves if these were the children God would give us to complete our family. Fast forward.. the two boys went home to their mother and we took in another little girl for a few months, then she went to live with her grandmother. Each child, we knew, God placed with us for a reason, but they were still not the children God had for our forever family. Through this whole process that started in 2013, we had to have a lot of patience, a big struggle for us both because we so wanted a family. Our impatience lead to frustration, doubt, and at times, even anger with God. But God, as our Father, understands our hearts and our hurts. He is not appalled by us being mad at Him. He just continues to love us, unconditionally. He held our hands through the whole journey. At the same time, while holding our hands, He was holding two little hands that would soon be held by us, as a mommy and a daddy. We loved them even before we knew their names! Our little boy, Ryder Michael (whom we got in February 2014) and our little girl Jenna Faith (whom we got in September 2014), became our children by law on December 16th, 2016! It was such an awesome day with 50 of our closest friends and family. Our long journey was complete! God brought us through, probably kicking and screaming at times. However, He did exactly what He said in His word He would do. He said He would never leave us nor forsake us. What seemed unbearable was bearable with the Lord in the middle of it! There were many sleepless nights of waiting, wondering, and doubting, but God remained consistent as He always is and brought us through a very trying time. Be encouraged today! If you have impatience, give it over to God and allow Him to guide you. He is the only one who knows the plan from beginning to end. He loves you, just as you are! Trust that His plan is truly perfect for you. We think we know what's best for us, but we can't see the whole picture. God does. Impatience can take away our feeling of having strength. As a musician, lyrics speak to me in a big way. During our adoption journey the following lyrics played over and over in my head: "His strength is perfect, when our strength is gone. He'll carry us when we can't carry on. Raised in His power the weak become strong, His strength is perfect. His strength is perfect." -Steven Curtis Chapman Blessings, Michael Stewart